Throughout my life, in my various studies, jobs, and careers, I’ve had the immense privilege of working for and beside some absolutely remarkable people.
Folks who built businesses and invested in opportunities that made them multi-millionaires. Folks who, regardless of their income, seem to lead charmed lives where everything just works out. Folks who, above all else, live day-to-day in a state of satisfaction, contentment, joy, and even bliss.
Folks who have achieved success in some form or another.
Being as curious as I am about self-improvement and leading a fulfilling life, I’ve observed these people carefully to see what they had in common.
While self-help books about success and “being an effective person” can have some value, I think they can over-complicate things.
Today, I’m going to reveal the one common trait I’ve seen among all of these successful people in my life.
That’s right. Just one key trait that all successful people have, that if we cultivate it in ourselves, can make a huge difference in helping us achieve our goals.
It’s not luck, opportunity, or some kind of organizational system.
No.
From what I’ve seen, success comes down to only one thing:
Successful people are full of trust.
At first, this seems kind of trite, or even wrong.
After all, how can people achieve success if they aren’t ruthless? It’s a dog-eat-dog world, you know.
Except.
That somewhat misunderstands what trust is.
Trust is not blind faith that everything will just magically work itself out.
Rather, trust is about operating out confidence in the behavior of the people and world around us, rather than constantly expecting betrayal.
It’s not exactly optimism. It’s just not pessimism.
The trust that successful people embody takes a few key forms:
Successful people trust others to act in their own self-interest
This sounds really cynical, but hear me out.
Successful people understand that everyone is, for the most part, looking out for themselves – and the stories they tell about themselves – before anything else.
From this angle, the key to getting what we want from most people is to understand where their self-interest overlaps with our goals.
In order to make use of this principle, successful people get exquisitely clear on what exactly they want. This way, they can more easily find the people whose interests align with those desires.
Successful people trust others to help them
When we’re crystal clear on what we want, and we understand that others will act in their own self-interest, this becomes relatively simple.
Successful people find people who can help them solve a problem, and who want to help them.
Frankly, the desire to help is always motivated by some kind of payment.
This might be paying money, especially to a professional, but “payment” can take a lot of other forms.
For instance, bartering (or trading) “value for value” in goods and services is much more common among the highly successful than you might think. And of course, some people simply want to help as a favor. Maybe out of the genuine goodness of their hearts. Or perhaps they themselves trust that if they help you in your time of need, you’ll help them in their own time of need if you can.
The thing that matters is that everyone gets what they desired out of the exchange, whether that’s money, an equally valuable good or service, a favor in the future (or the repayment of a debt they owed you for a favor you did them before), or “good feelings.”
So, to a certain extent, success does require some interpersonal skills. But it usually isn’t nearly as dramatic or cutthroat as we often think.
When we ask for help from people who are able to help us, and who have motivation to help us, making progress toward our goals is that much easier.
And when we trust those who have agreed to help us, it’s easier to let go and focus on the work that only we can do.
That’s the fundamental principle behind delegation.
No micromanaging or stress. Just trust.
Successful people trust in their own capabilities
This is perhaps one of the biggest differentiating factors between those who have achieved success and those who constantly struggle.
Because like I said earlier, “luck” isn’t a common thread among the successful. Sometimes, all of the odds are stacked against them, and they have to start entirely from nothing, using only their own determination and abilities. Sometimes, they have to try and fail a dozen times before they finally “make it.”
That kind of grit and determination only comes from practice, and being confident in their ability to make things happen.
Without exception, successful people trust that even if everything falls apart, they will find a way to build something new and wonderful.
They trust that they will find the people who can help them.
They trust that they will be able to make magic happen, even in the hardest times.
They trust that any failed endeavor can be turned into a learning experience. Because sometimes, people make mistakes. And sometimes, things happen that are outside of our control.
When things go wrong, we can trust that we did our best with what we had. We can learn from our mistakes and vow to do better next time, now that we have gained wisdom from that failure.
By cultivating a trusting personality – by trusting in others and in ourselves – we can achieve greater success in the ways that are most meaningful to us.
Footnote: this blog post is an example of a short-form “thought piece” style blog post. If you would like me to write for your blog, check out my current rates for individual posts, or send me a message using the form below to inquire about a longer-term arrangement. I look forward to hearing from you!
~Bea